Robert Brink - Writer

Tony Tave

July 28, 2009 | Skip To The Comments (2)

Tony Tave
By Rob Brink
The Skateboard Mag, September 2009

Tony Tave is 22 years old. Apart from his obvious knack for catching flip tricks in a very enviable way, he has an equally desirable Utopian view of the world. “Life is like a dream… just have fun… why can’t we all just be happy?” aren’t uncommon utterances from Mr. Tave. These qualities might be the result of his sunny Orange County, California upbringing, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

Tony’s the kinda guy who’d say, “Why not?” while everyone else is saying “Why?” And he’s definitely the type of guy you want to roll with if you’re looking to round up a cougar or have a thing for your neighbor’s hot wife.

Where you been since the last Circa and Element videos?
Just skating, dude. Having fun for myself. That’s what life’s all about. It’s more than just riding a skateboard, even though skateboarding is the most important part.

Can we talk about chicks or will that bum out your girlfriend?
Nah, we can talk about chicks, dude. I’ve been around the world.

Last time we spoke, you and Windsor were going out in Laguna to pick up some cougs and you wanted me to roll.
That was a good day actually. I met a chick at this bar called the Wicked Garden. She was like 33. She hit me up the other day randomly. I was like “Damn, a little too late.” I would have smashed. She was bangin’.

Where are the best spots to pick up cougars and MILFs in Orange County?
Laguna Beach. You gotta get the rich ones. Go to where all those mansions and the MILF bars are. Salt Creek Grill is the one I was calling you from. Me and Windsor were drinking red wine. Just being high class. But only having one glass ‘cause they’re like 20 bucks each.

Are you hitting on the cougars or are they hitting on you?
Dude, the cougars hit on you! That’s the beauty of it. They’re genetic time clock is ticking so they’re ready to pounce! The next thing you know you’re rolling in her ex-husband’s Ferrari.

Have you ever had any situations with married couples or swingers?
Yeah, my neighbor. She’s probably like 36 or something.

No way dude…
Dude, it was fucking crazy. She was married and used to hit on me. She came over asking for me one night when Windsor answered the door. Started talking to me about some barbeque she’s gonna have and salsa she’s making and shit. I just didn’t really pay attention. But we started talking more and one night she was like, “Hey do you wanna come pick up this computer table?”

I figured something sketchy might happen so I put Dennis Durrant’s iPhone in my pocket so I could record the conversation. We talked for a bit and I went to leave and she just slammed the door on me and threw me against it and started making out with me. She was humping my leg where the phone was. She just got buck wild and shit. You can hear her moaning on the recording. I definitely copped a feel and she was telling me to fuck her. I should have, but I was like “Hey, you can’t fucking do this! Your kid is upstairs. You got a husband.” She was like, “Just use my toys on me.”

That’s like every teenage boy’s fantasy. Do you prefer fake boobs or real boobs?
I hate fake tits, man. They’re the worst things ever. You look at them and you’re like, “They’re not real.” These chicks have so much insecurity that they cake on makeup and then it comes down to fake tits. You’re not supposed to have fake tits if your tits are nice.

Everyone’s wearing a mask. They’re all liars. They have to cover themselves up behind fake tits, which is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.

What’s your favorite part of the female anatomy?
Dude, the entire female anatomy is.

So tell us about your girl.
She runs a drive through coffee stand with chicks in bikinis near the Bellevue Washington skate plaza. I’m psyched on her. She’s one of those chicks that gets it and she’s doing her thing.

So Circa sponsored a Bikini contest, the team judged it and that’s how you met her?
Hell yeah. It was in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. While we were there, some dude committed suicide ‘cause his wife cheated on him. He overdosed on pills in one of the suites. Marriage is kinda crazy. He was in there dead for a week and his body exploded. All his guts and shit were everywhere. I was smoking a joint with the custodian dude from the hotel and he told me how he had to throw the body in a river. In Mexico, once you’re gone, you’re gone. You don’t get your ceremony. You don’t get shit.

How about the time you were dating two ladies and told them each about the other so they could decide who got to be with you?
I’m just a chill person. I feel like life is a dream so you’re just on a path of doing whatever you want. If someone wants to come on the ride with me, then let’s go. I don’t like drama. So if people get it they get it. And that’s what it came down to with these chicks. It was funny. They pretty much bailed. But it’s all good. There’s plenty more out there. Chicks are crazy man.

At least you were honest. But it couldn’t have ended well.
It was seriously eating me up alive. I finally told them each about each other and they were just like, “What the fuck? I can find better!”

But instead of choosing one and dumping of the other, you made them choose? That’s ballsy.
Yeah. Like, figure it out. We can all live together. I mean… I know those people got busted for polygamy in Utah or something… but I don’t see why a girl would get mad at another girl for loving the same person. If we all had love everything would be balanced. Its life, man. Don’t take it so serious. Enjoy it.