Robert Brink - Writer

Festivus: Emerica Braydon Shoe party

March 25, 2009 | Skip To The Comments (2)

Festivus: Emerica's Braydon Szafranski Shoe Release Party
By Rob Brink
The Skateboard Mag, May 2009

In the world of skateboarding journalism, there are three very common ways to document a party: “Press release-style,” which tends to be rather embellishing, dry and unimaginative; “Zany party guy-style,” which is essentially the drunk frat boy perspective; and “Cryptic/abstract-style,” popularized in the '90s by Big Brother magazine, which employs a technique of avoiding the actual subject matter and exploring a peripheral perspective.

Since we have that great new president in office, why not celebrate and keep the democratic spirit going strong by offering all three methods to tell the tale of Braydon's Emerica pro model shoe release party? This way you can choose the one you like the best-just like voting!

PR:
For immediate release - On January 18, 2009, to celebrate the release of Braydon Szafranski's first-ever Emerica shoe, The Braydon, an epic rager was thrown at the Viper Room in Hollywood, CA. Hundreds of Braydon's friends and family came from all over the world to celebrate this special occasion. The free beer was more abundant than oxygen! Industry influencers like Patrick O'Dell and Neckface were there! The line to get in was around the block! Ryan Gosling posed with the ladies! The Goat & The Occasional Others and Ima Robot played! Harley-Davidson Motorcycles lined the street outside the club and it was a totally epic night of madness and mayhem!

Zany:
Man… I showed up to the Viper room, like three hours late, dude. Good thing I had my pompon beanie and VIP wristband on, 'cuz I walked right past a gaggle of hot LA scenester pro ho chicks begging the bouncer to get in. “Later, bitches! I'm going to chill with a bunch of dudes!”

Thanks to an open bar, everyone was already totally wasted. There was puke in the bathroom sink and blood on the floor but no one even cared. The Goat totally rocked and their music inspired Heath Kirchart to focus the entire VIP booth. Broken tables, bottles and hearts everywhere! This is the life!

Pros like Biebel, Herman, Spanky, Carroll, Jeron and Hsu were going wild... enjoying themselves to the fullest! So was Boosh. Dozens of people took photos for their amazing blogs. After Ima Robot played all their hits, everyone proceeded to get good and wasted and dance to Journey's “Don't Stop Believing” until the place shut down, at which point, inebriated sidewalk antics with homeless people and an Ed Hardy jeep ensued. Sucks you weren't there, bro! I'd tell you we missed your company but… well… out of sight, out of mind!

Cryptic:
Myotonic goats, also known as “fainting goats,” are a breed of domestic goat whose muscles freeze for roughly 10 seconds when they get startled. Though painless, this generally results in the animal collapsing on its side. The characteristic is caused by a hereditary genetic disorder called myotonia congenita.

The goats appear to have arrived in Marshall County, Tennessee, from Nova Scotia in the early 1800s, courtesy of a reclusive farm worker named Jon Tinsley. Before he left the area, he sold his goats-three does and a buck-to Dr. H.H. Mayberry, who bred them.
Fainting goats have many other names, including, Nervous Goats, Stiff-leg Goats, Wooden-leg Goats, and Tennessee Scare Goats. They are smaller and somewhat easier to care for than larger goat breeds, which makes the fainting goat desirable for smaller farms or as pets or show animals, as they can be friendly, intelligent and amusing.

Do you think The Goat & The Occasional Others were inspired to name themselves after Myotonic Goats? Oh, by the way, Braydon's party was a really amazing time. Congrats on the new shoe, Braydon!