By Rob Brink
Bliss Magazine December 2007
Intros to interviews are boring and cliché. No one ever writes good ones anymore. Basically, if you suck at interviewing, or the person you interviewed is a turd, a great way to cover that up is to write a clever intro. Like, I'd sit here and tell you some stuff about Chris Gregson and how good he is on a skateboard and what a cool cat he is. Or maybe even get real abstract and write something completely unrelated and pass it off as "cryptic art." But why would you want to hear me say it when I just spent an hour on the phone with him and you can read about it for yourself, right?
So Chris, I found six different Chris Gregson MySpace pages. Why do you have so many?
Are you serious? I have one. But I don't make my own MySpace pages.
Did you do the one with the Regina Spektor music on it?
Uh, no. I have like some sweet like banjo music.
Oh, I see. You're the one named "Fagasaurus."
That's me! What can I say?
This other one says "Crusty Chris. My name's Chris Gregson and I'm tall. I would do anything in my power for Jesus Christ. Jesus loves you. Thanks for nothing."
No. That's not mine.
Why are people making up fake Gregson profiles? Do you think people starting these are just making fun of you?
Probably. That's what I would do.
There's another one that says your interests are "I do nothing. All day I just sit at home in a dark corner."
(Laughs) Are you serious?
Yeah, and then it says that your favorite book is the bible, and, that you'd like to meet, Carmen Electra. And it says you're 41 years old.
It says I sit in a dark room all day?
Ya and your headline quote is: "It's Friday, I'm in love." Then there's the Chris Gregson fan site. It has three friends.
Hey, what can I say? people want to be on my fan site page.
Ya but one of 'em is MySpace Tom. One of 'em is you and the other is your friend Rebecca. That doesn't even count. You have a fan page with no fans! How come I'm not in your top friends?
Cause, your not.
Why are you called Crusty Chris?
When I went to school everyone found out that I didn't wash my hair for a while and started calling me that. It's just stupid.
I stopped washing my hair and then like, I started getting all these like weird scabs on my scalp one time. Has that ever happened to you?
No. I just don't wash my hair really. It's just like, whenever it's clean, it's like it just falls in my face, and I can't do anything with it but when it's dirty, I can just do whatever I want with it. I can just, it doesn't like fall. It just stays wherever I put it.
Do you ever put product in it?
No. It's just like, grease.
Do you know how obsessed with your hair you are? You tell me when you're gonna dye your hair and cut your hair. I don't know if you've noticed, but you're way into your hair. Admit it…
Yeah, cause it's annoying. Whenever it's blonde, it's super blonde, and everyone calls me Sunshine, so everyone's like, "So you're trying to be Sunshine again?" I'm like, "Yeah, I guess so."
And where'd the name "Gay Danzig" come from?
Oh my gosh, I dunno, Clifford. When we went to Arizona like for the Phoenix am contest. He asked what kind of music I listened to and I'm like, "I dunno, like music with girl singers." And he was like, "You need to listen to some Danzig. Your hair looks like Danzig. So, from now on, if you don't listen to Danzig. I'm gonna call you Gay Danzig." So I think that's where it came from. And then everyone just started calling me that. Actually just you did, and Clifford.
So which nickname do you prefer? Crusty Chris, Sunshine or Gay Danzig?
(Laughs) I don't like any of 'em, I don't care. Call me whatever.
If you're worried about any sort of gay reputation I would go with the Crusty Chris.
"Sunshine" is kinda gay.
Kinda gay? Are you worried about people thinking your gay?
No, I don't care if people think I'm gay. I know I'm not gay, so let them think what they think.
The same way people think I'm gay, I'm pretty sure they're gonna think you're gay.
Probably, but you're not gay, you're … wait, no, cause you know, in high school, no one thought I was gay. You said everyone thought you were gay.
Yeah, you're right. You just got me.
Yeah, so I'm a little ahead in the ranks.
Are you as tall as me?
I dunno, like 6'3".
Oh, you're gonna get taller than me dude. I'm like 6'4" 1/2, 6'5".
I hope I don't get taller. I hate being tall.
But you're still a growing boy. Are you still a virgin, saving it for marriage? Since you're into like religion and stuff.
Yeah, at least that's what I wanna do.
It's pretty rad that you can get a whole interview out of your six MySpace pages.
I'm kind of against MySpace. I don't like it, but it's just one of those things… you kind of have to have one. You don't have to, but once you get one, it's addicting, like Starbucks.
You into green tea?
No! That's disgusting! I can't even drink those Arizona green teas, they're not coffee. Everyone probably thinks you're gay cause you like green tea. Get coffee or something! Don't go to Starbucks and get green tea!
Dude, but when I'm 60 and your 60, I won't have cancer, and you will, cause all my green tea is gonna fight off all the cancer.
Yeah, but I'm hopin' not to get cancer.
Hoping? You think that's gonna work? But actually, you can pray at church to not have cancer. You have that advantage over me.
Yeah, seriously, you're screwed!
Do you still like go to church with Figgy and all those dudes?
Yeah. I try to on Sundays. Recently I haven't been able to but we've been going on Thursdays to this place called the Sanctuary. It's Sumner's church, and Christian Hosoi and like a bunch of skaters go there. It's pretty sick.
Do you still not curse?
No, I don't curse!
If I gave you a hundred bucks, would you say a curse word?
For a hundred bucks? I have like less than five dollars in my bank account. Are you serious? Of course I would.
So, if you say the word "fuck" right now, I'll give you ten bucks next time I see you.
No, I don't want to. 'Cuz I know you wont give me ten bucks!
I've never given you a reason not to trust me. I've blown you up.
You're sketchy, I don't know. I could just see you doing this so when this comes out you can have me saying a cuss word. That's what you want.
So, you invented the RobBrink.com stake team. How did that idea come about?
Seriously, you owe me. We were in Amsterdam and it was me, Figgy, and a bunch of people—the crew that we skate with. And you gave me Brink stickers before I left and like the captain of our team was like "What's Brink?" And I was like, "It's Rob Brink!" And I went and put it on my list of sponsors for the contest and they announced it. I pretty much told you that I started a skate team and you didn't really have a say in it.
Now everyone wants to be on! Collin Provost, David Loy, Figgy. It's like, all the rage with the Irvine kids.
Dude, Irvine's so sick! Everyone hates on me for being so psyched on Irvine but they're just jealous cause they don't live in Irvine. Dude, I'm so psyched on Irvine! I don't do anything else besides skate. And there's like so many spots so why leave Irvine if I don't have to?
Tell me your obsession with crails.
(Laughing) When am I gonna stop doing crail grabs? Probably never!
Take it to the next level!
How am I supposed to take a crail grab to the next level? Crail grab the mega ramp or something?
Well maybe try like kickflip crail down some stairs or like lipslide crail, down the handrail, or like a feeble crail.
I was doing 5-0 crails the other night out at etnies park. That was sick!
Tell me about IrvineSucks.com.
Yeah, it's sick. I do blogs. There's this guy Nick that does the whole site, and this other guy Richard Bacon who has his own blog thing, and they're both Irvine filmers. That's actually who we skate with all the time. So, but its all local spots and every local skater in the local skate scene and stuff. It's the hot thing in Irvine. If you're on that you're like legit in Irvine. (Laughs) Seriously. My friend Joey was like, "My goal in skating is to be on IrvineSucks.com."
Wow. Ok, I'm done with you.
Cool man. Killer interview!