Robert Brink - Writer

My first bum fight!

March 11, 2007 | Skip To The Comments (6)

Carrying my video camera around at all times has been pretty productive lately. First, underage aspiring models in arctic waters. Then, today I filmed this scuffle between some bums. As you can see, bum #1 is harrassing bum #2 and his bum girl. Bum #2 keeps his cool until bum #1 attacks bum girl.

Then bum #2 strikes! And proceeds to beat the piss out of bum #1, while bum #3 tries to make me stop filming. At the very end when bum #3 gets off the bench, that's when I turned the camera off for fear of getting hit while holding the camera in one hand, looking in the viewfinder to film and holding my chocolate chip milkshake in the other. He chased me a bit and yelled to turn off the camera, but had he really come after me I would have had no free hands. Shitty, because the argument between he and I was way funnier than the bum fight itself. I truly regret not keeping the camera rolling. For that and the fact that you could have seen the bloody mess that bum #1 became. Shame on me.

Luckily for bum #2, who was defending bum girl, I had this all on tape when the cops arrived. The cops enjoyed this video about as much as you will. They laughed and were stoked and amazed that I stood there and took it. As a result, bum #2 didn't have to go to jail and walked away with a few scrapes, while bum #1, who was beaten to a bloody pulp, got carried away on a stretcher.

While we were sitting on the sidewalk, surrounded by cops and cop cars, with PCH traffic stopped full of rubberneckers watching us, bum #2 was cleaning all of bum #1's blood off his hands and chest and thanked me, stating that he's had a rough life and good things like this never happen to him. Then the cops (who initially threw me and bum #2 to the ground when they arrived, not knowing who was involved or at fault) thanked me and I walked home with a little extra bounce in my step, knowing that my good deed (and web content) for the day was in the bag.